I’m out on my edges. There’s dissonance out on the edges. I’d like to be in control. I want to look good. I’m not sure either is possible when we’re pushing to expand beyond our arena of comfort.
I’m a songwriter. I’ve learned the territory of writing a song. It didn’t always look good, (or sound good), but by the time I ship and deliver, I feel pretty good about what I’ve written.
While I’m in process letting go of needing to look good helps and letting go of the outcome helps. When I write a song, I have to write the stupid the idea down that pops into my head. I’ve learned sometimes the line I write reluctantly is someone else’s favorite. As well, ideas I refuse to transcribe I get snared on. I can’t escape them.
I have a choice. I can tap into the well of my ideas, curiosity and flow, or I can tap into the well of my judgement, anxieties, and fear. I can’t do both.
Bringing any project into the world is the same. It requires the same tolerance of uncertainty. But a song can be written in an hour, I can tolerate an hour of uncertainty. Can I tolerate more?