Timmy

But Fearless?

May 17, 2019 Timmy

I call the challenge I periodically run the Fearless Songwriting Challenge. I named it the Fearless Challenge because calling it the “Write Seven Songs in Seven Days Challenge” lacked a certain verve.

But Fearless?

People who hear about the challenge say; “I’m not Fearless.” And, “who wants to be fearless anyway?” It’s true! Fearlessness is pretty often a synonym for foolishness. Fear is there for good reason. Fear is an important marker in our lives. But also fear gets in our way.

There’s a lot out there about how to beat fear. The nub of it is if we avoid a fear, it sucks, and the fear increases. If we face a fear head on head on, it sucks, but the fear decreases. There are different ways to challenge a fear, but it seems exposure to a fear is compulsory to beating it. So back in the 80’s Susan Jeffers had it right; you have to “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.”

This is the idea behind the Fearless Songwriting Challenge; know writing a song can be scary, do it anyway–seven times.

Saying; “merely do it,” does lack some empathy though, (not to mention some drama). Empathy helps to take away the edge from a fear. And so, the unsolicited advice:

Don’t confuse your self worth with your accomplishments or your lack thereof.

Tell yourself; “If I write I am good, and if I don’t write I am good.”

Tell yourself; “If I write well I am good, and if I don’t write well, I am good!”

Give yourself that space.

If this sounds like airy-fairy magical bullshit, you’re probably right. Still, you might try it on for size, walk into the arena of your writing and see what happens.

Remember, no matter what does happens, whether in your judgment or the judgment someone else, you’re good.

Songwriting

List Ten Things, (and Go to Eleven).

May 15, 2019 Timmy

It’s a grey rainy day. My habit the last little bit has been to wake up, study a little Greek, play some guitar, read the news. Pretty much do anything to amuse and distract myself before leaving for work. Not so say that none learning Greek or playing guitar are a waste of my time but what I’ve been wanting to do is enliven the Fearless Songwriter Group some. Maybe offer thoughts on editing, songwriting, and generally getting on with it.

For instance, one way I like to get on with it is a list of then things. Here’s an example: Ten things I could do to enliven the Fearless Challenge Group

Ask members who they’re listening to these days
Post some useful information about music theory
Ask about what’s keeping members stuck
Post some of Dr. David Burns’ work on beating procrastination
Post some info on learning techniques.
Talk about Fluent Forever, mnemonics, and the memory palace
Create a Spotify list of artists/songs people are excited about now
Talk about effective practice techniques?
Ask others about how they practice
Talk about how coffee makes the world better
Look at CBT techniques that could be applied to writing and writing blocks

I like the list of ten things, (and I love making it go to 11). It’s useful brainstorming for me. It’s a flexible tool and framework. I could ask myself an infinite number of open ended questions and get any number of answers. Some answers will suck. Some answers will feel scary. But there are bound to be one or two that I can do right now, today. It works as a to do list. It works as a way to think about changes I’d like to make to a song. It works as a way to think up vacation spots. There are few times I’m unfocused, feel blocked, or need to think something through where it’s unhelpful.

I never have to do all the things I come up with. I find it’s rarely useful to save a list much more than a day. I just end up with an untenable pile of lists. In a moment where I feel stuck though, it’s pretty much always helpful for write out ten options (and go to eleven).

Songwriting

The Fearless Songwriting Challenge FAQ

January 5, 2019 Timmy

What is the ‘Fearless’ Challenge?

The challenge: Smash though our fears and inhibitions involved in songwriting. The method: write seven songs in seven days.

Can anybody take part?

Everybody is welcome.

What if I’m not a Fearless Songwriter?

You don’t have to be fearless to take part in the challenge. Most people aren’t. I’m certainly not. Fear is a guide toward the meat of writing. So, in a sense, the goal isn’t to shed fear. The goal is shedding the aversion to fear. The goal trusting fear as guide to our best work.

“There’s no way I can write a song in 45-minutes. I’ve never done that! How do you do that?”

In his songwriting class, Peter Himmelman suggests a thought experiment:

“A person walk up to you with $50,000 dollars in hand to write a song in the next half hour; would you write it?”

Of course you would. So what’s really stopping you from writing a song?

Would you like an example of how? This Youtube video shows Nate Barofsky (formerly of Girlyman) putting together a song in about 15 minutes. : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYYfXLiA2-g

What counts as a completed song?

My definition of a completed song is a set of lyrics set to a melody (usually with instrumental accompaniment) that’s been recorded. A second definition a is a rough draft I’m confident I can return to and work on in the future if I choose to. Your definition may differ.

I started a song a week ago … Can that count for the challenge?

Using songs you’ve started previously isn’t in the spirit of the challenge. (That said, people have been known adjust to guidelines of the challenge to suit their needs).

What skills should I have to join the Fearless Songwriting Challenge?

The Challenge requires more attitude than skill. Children and parents write songs. So do drunks and lovers. If the challenge excites you, take it on. If the challenge overwhelms you it’s unlikely to be productive.

The only way I have to record my songs is on a cheap digital recorder (or whatever). Is this good enough? Do I have to record my song in a studio?

Most participants post simple recordings. I record my songs with an iphone.

Do I have to show my songs to someone? Or is this on the honor system?

You don’t have to show your songs to anyone but lots of people post their songs on the closed group created on Facebook for each challenge. Taking part the community will help you get through the challenge. Posting your songs often leads to feedback revealing your efforts are more substantial than you give yourself credit for.

Should I comment on people’s songs?

Yes! People love hearing about your experience of their music. Let people know what you’ve enjoyed and what moved you, what you found funny or inspiring. Focus on a songs strengths. Offer sincere encouragement. Writers often feel insecure and/or conflicted about their songs. They may have no idea they’ve written anything of worth. Let them know where they’ve succeeded. Since the challenge asks us to share work that is fresh and potentially vulnerable, criticisms and suggested revisions are discouraged unless explicitly asked for by the artist for a specific song.

What’s a prompt?

Prompts offer writers a single word, phrase or directive as a starting place to help focus and prime people for their writing. A prompt might offer a subject, idea or image to start from, or they might ask a writer to focus on a particular facet of their craft, or of music. Previous prompts have included: “Overnight”, “Relationship Triangle”, and even “Giant Squid”. More musically oriented prompts have included things like; “write a two chord song”, “write an a cappella song”, or “use a different instrument than normal”.

Who creates the prompts?

Often I reach out to people who have participated in the Fearless Challenge in the past or to other musician friends I know for the prompts, or I just come up with something myself.

Do I have to use the prompt?

Prompts are a tool. If they help, use them. If they’re unhelpful, don’t.

I started working with the prompt but now my song seems to have nothing to do with it, is that ok?

That’s fine. The prompts might be a destination to aim for, or a place to start your travels. Either way the prompts are merely a tool to help us get through the challenge, the goal of the challenge is write songs, not to write to prompts.

When do the prompts get posted?

I do my best to post the prompts between 11 PM and 12 Eastern Time for upcoming day.

Do I have time to take on the Fearless Songwriting Challenge?

This is a valid question––To complete the Fearless Songwriting Challenge requires about an hour a day for seven days straight; it’s not an insignificant commitment. On the other hand, lots of people complain about spending too much time on the internet. Others are able to spontaneously generate six hour stints to watch Arrested Development. Maybe you have more time available to you than you thought? Is there an activity or two that you could give up for a week to make time for you writing?

I’m moving, getting married, going to China, the week of the upcoming challenge, should I participate?

You may not want to mix major life events with the Fearless Songwriting Challenge. The week requires substantial effort and commitment of time. Be sensible and kind to yourself on the other commitments you have during the week.

How can I best set myself up to successfully complete the challenge?

1. Create a space for your writing for the week. As much as possible have everything you need set up in that space before you sit down to write. It’s best to have a notebook, pen or pencil, recording device, musical instrument at the ready.

2. Decide out what time you’ll write at each day and stick to it. Consistency is best; I’m going to start writing at 8:00 AM each day for the next seven days and have a finished song by 8:45 leaves little room for argument or equivocation. If you can’t write at the same time each day plan what time you’ll write each day in your calendar. Then sit down and write.

3. Create an invocation to your muse requesting humility and productivity. My favorite example comes from an article in the New Yorker*:

get an egg timer and every day set it for one minute
everyday kneel in front of your writing implements in a posture of prayer beg the universe to help you write the worst sentence ever written.
When the timer dings, start typing.

Maybe you’ll prefer less ostentatious ritual. That’s fine, figure out what works for you. NO matter what you do the aim is to lower the bar and write a lot.

*The complete article is available here: http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2011/03/21/110321fa_fact_goodyear

I write slowly, can I take part in the challenge?

I encourage all songwriters to take on the Fearless Challenge at an experiment at once. Inspiration is a creature of varied habits and there’s much to learn in shaking up a routine to see what will happen. Some people who are slow writers try the challenge and find it helps them condense their process. Most people who take part in the challenge will continue to revise their songs even after they’re “done.” That said, I know of many great writers who thrive in their commitment to a slow deliberative process writing and revision.

What if I don’t finish the song in 45 minutes?

They say that a goldfish will grow to the size of its fishbowl. The same goes for songwriting. 45 minutes is a guideline––if you don’t finish that quickly it’s fine. But try not to spend all day wrestling with your song. You’ll drive yourself batty; I always do.

What if I don’t complete the challenge?

John Wooden said it best: “Success is the peace of mind attained only through self satisfaction that you have made the effort to do the best of which you are capable.”

Are you satisfied you gave the week the best effort you’re capable of? Then take pride in your effort. Do you feel like you might have done better? Then you might consider, objectively, what circumstances or emotions kept you from making your best effort. If you’re someone who tends to beat themselves up, (and what songwriter isn’t?), go easy on the self-flagelation.

Learn to recognize the places you can improve, but keep in mind self-denigrating helps no one, especially not yourself. Seriously, there’ve been studies on this sort of thing––guilt and shame weaken resolve.

I don’t play the guitar. Can I still take part in this challenge?

Please do.

Oh no! I just stole the structure and chord changes from “Don’t Stop Believin'”! Is that allowed? You won’t tell anyone will you?

No one has to know and I’ll never tell. Borrowing, homage and outright theft are time honored traditions in the world of art. In point of fact, we’re all stealing something. While we’re here, keep in mind a song’s chord progression and song title can’t be copyrighted. So steal ’em all you like.

I’d like to support Timmy for organizing the Fearless Challenge, does he have a Patreon or something?

He sure does. It’s right here: https://www.patreon.com/Timmyrmusic

Songwriting, The Muse

Madness and the Muse

August 23, 2018August 23, 2018 Timmy

“They who, having no touch of the Muses’ madness in their soul, and come to the door and think they will get into the temple by the help of art–they and their poetry are not admitted; the sane disappear and are left nowhere when they enter into rivalry with madness.” -Plato (more or less)

We like to be in control. We don’t like madness or frenzy, and we hate letting go. But The Fearless Challenge isn’t about being in control. It’s about finding out what happens when we go a little (or a lot) crazy. The challenge isn’t about anyone’s precious egos or liking what is written today. It’s about writing seven days straight, and looking back after saying, holy shit, where did THAT come from?

The Challenge is simple:

1. Sit down to write a song in about 45 minutes.

2. Let go, say something CRAZY.

3. Use the last 15 minutes of the hour to make a recording as a artifact of what was claimed from the unknown.

That’s it, and it can be S.C.A.R.Y.

Said another way the challenge is to: find your edge and lean forward, afraid of falling but fall anyway. It’s to jump out of the plane of everyday thoughts with no parachute and nothing to hang onto. The good news is there is no ground. Eventually you’ll come home to your senses and you’ll have a new song.

The challenge aims to enter into communion with the Gods, into communion with powers that, bless our analytical minds & the double-blinds of science, we can’t explain for shit.

That can be scary.

Here’s a mantra to use with fear: BRING IT ON.

Say these words and then run at the fear.

Then say; “I LOVE FEAR,” because fear is nothing more than a little biological energy, and when you sit with it, it will launch you like a rocket into the unknown, and you’ll find flow. Then time and identity won’t matter until you return back to earth. Thinking doesn’t help us do that–it helps us AVOID doing that.

This week, I dare you to set a timer for 45 Minutes each day and write a song you never knew you could.
I dare you to share a simple one take recording of that song.
I dare you not to judge yourself for what finds its way onto the page, or into the recorder each day, or even for the whole week.
I dare you not to quit when you DO judge yourself.
I dare you to continue when you’re certain you’ll never write a good song again.
I dare you not to make excuses.
I dare you to write seven songs in seven days.

The next challenge will be posted at The Fearless Songwriter on Facebook.

Greek, Songwriting

Champagne and Catharsis

August 22, 2018August 22, 2018 Timmy

“Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends” -Tom Waits

In Greek, the word for song is Τραγούδι (tra-GOO-thee). It’s a sham friend of the English word tragedy, which means they sound alike but don’t share the same meaning. This happens a lot between Greek and English. An example is the word for yes in Greek, which is “Ναι” and has all the nasal negation of “nay” or “no” and it seems every word for no in European languages; non, nein, niet?

Have you listened to some Greek songs? They are emotive, dramatic and lyrically serious downers way over yonder in the minor key. All things Elliot Smith and Aimee Mann and outside of exceptions like Queens “Best Friend” and George Harrison’s “Here Comes the Sun,” pretty much every other song in the English language songbook.

Tραγούδι adds a little heft and veritas to the word “song” notable for its germanic pith, and which deserves some heft and veritas. There are lots of rules for what makes a tragedy a tragedy but the short of it from well known authority Aristotle is that a tragedy needs catharsis.

Catharsis is another word which springs from Greek and is a real friend as the fates would have it. The word for catharsis in Greek is κάθαρση (CATH-ar-see) Take away that “ess” sound from the word and you get Κάθαρη (KATH-ar-ee) which means “clean.” So songs, or τραγούδια, could be about coming clean–about that moment of seeing things clearly, clarifying things. They could also be about purging, purifying, expurgation, ablution, absolution and in one colorful translation of the verb καθαρίζω (cath-ar-EE-zoh), defecating. And ideas like gloss, shine, sheen, shimmer, sparkle and lustration are all translations as well.

Lustration is a fun word. It’s root is the latin word luster but why let that get in the way of the good old germanic lust hidden in that shine.

The turning point of catharsis useful to think about when writing songs. It’s a crux, or inflection point. And it points to something that could be happening both to the characters and listeners before and after listening to a song. That they come into the song in one state and leave changed–hopefully for the better.

Greek, Songwriting

Dancing with Booger Mcfarland

August 20, 2018August 22, 2018 Timmy

I went to The Rocky Mountain Song School last week. I sat in Darrell Scott’s class for four days as he listened to, and talked about song. Mary Gauthier taught in the neighboring tent. She was on fire about writing singable choruses. The word “chorus” got me thinking because it has Greek roots, and I’ve been learning Greek.

How does “chorus” translate into Greek? I put the words “song” and “chorus” together into the Google Beast’s translator. Out the other end came: Χορωδία τραγουδιού. (Hor-oh-THEE-ah Tra-goo-thee-OO).

In certain plays, which include Oedipus Rex and Antigone, a χορωδία, (a chorus), is a group of people who comment on the action. Imagine ten or twelve Statler and Waldorfs from the Muppets talking together on stage. Or, if the NFL is your thing, try a gaggle of John Maddens and Booger McFarlands* calling the action.

The chorus as a peanut gallery is well noted, but what was news to me–and I maybe should have known–is that χορωδία is rooted in the word χορός (hor-OS), which means dance. Choreography is dance-writing. The chorus might also be the dance-y bit, the part of the song where people could come together and dance. I have some resistant to the idea of a danceable songs. It makes me think of people sweating in a club to Kesha. It’s not my scene. (That’s also, a little judgy on my part).

But there are lots of ways to come together and dance. You could ballroom dance, Big Apple, Bardo Chham and Belly. You could Cakewalk, Cat Daddy and Capoeira. You could Cha-cha, Charleston and do the Chicken. Circle, Square, Country or Western–what you need, dance has got it. You might even tango, two step, or tarantella while you watch yourself Gavotte.

Can you dance the fandango?

Trust me, you can!

Whether you come old flat top or groove it up slowly, the point of a chorus is coming together. It’s to sing together. It’s to dance together.

*Yep, Booger McFarland is some poor, benighted soul’s actual name

Shame, Songwriting, Writing

Shame Resilience & Creativity

July 23, 2018August 22, 2018 Timmy

I’m supposed to be writing. Instead I’m in the stacks of the Robbins Library and scouring the library’s catalogue for books on my phone. Every book I’ve looked up in the online catalogue is checked out. Each time I look up a book I’m hit by a pang of procrastinatory guilt, akin to swallowing a Dorito the wrong way. My conscience and the library are aligned saying: Do your work.

Many people are compelled to clean when staring down a blank page and a deadline but my bed is already made and the dishes are washed, so I’m compelled to the library. I’m desperate to know what other people have written about getting work done. I’ve also read basically every book there is on the subject. Hence, guilt, like a Dorito lodged in my throat.

The thoughts and emotions which drive procrastination have many names (which are capitalized auspiciously): Gremlins, Monkey Mind, The Censor, Resistance. . . Here’s one which is rarely used, but Brené Brown has worked tirelessly bring into style: shame, (no capitalization–shame would rather less attention).

I think it’s time we talked about creativity and shame and in the shame department, Brené has done us all a solid. She’s researched it, defined it and talked to people people that have figured out how to defeat it, or at least keep it from inhibiting them from time to time. Brené describes these unicorns as people with high shame resilience.

But wait! There’s more!

She’s gone one step further. She’s distilled their tactics into four simple guidelines we could emulate. If you’re a person struggling with how to get your best work out into the world, I think you’ll want these tactics in your tool box.

Brené says shame’s messages boil down to two themes. Note these, you will be tested:

“Not good enough”
“How dare you!?!”

If you don’t already recognize these messages here’s the test: Think of something intend to do, but haven’t. Something that would be fun or exciting, or challenging. Maybe it’s something change your life or your world or your day for the better. Soon some thoughts will likely arise that complicate your acting on it–what are these? Packed away in those messages will be some variant of “Not Good Enough,” or “How Dare you!?!”

Ok, so here are the tactics:

The four traits of highly shame resistant people:

1.They know what shame feels like for themselves (the physical symptoms that signal its onset), and they know what situations and thoughts create shame for themselves.

2.They reality check messages and expectations that fuel their shame, i.e., are the messages and expectations fueling their shame even remotely possible to achieve?

3.They reach out and tell their stories to people they trust. Brené says if shame was isolated in a petri dish, the thing that would cause it to grow would be secrecy, silence and judgment. The thing that causes it to shrivel like a slug dusted with salt? Empathy.

4.When they encounter shame, they call it out, they call shame what it is: “shame.”

Let me go through how I think these apply to my writing.

Know what shame feels like and what situations create shame.

For me when I sit down to write, my most common shame trigger is the thought that I don’t I have anything to say. I feel scared. My belly pits out and tumbles into the void of infinity. My breathing stops. If it’s really bad my armpits may tingle. The world takes on a surreal quality, like stumbling into a posse of evil fairies in a dark forest.

I get the same damn feeling when I get to a point in my writing I know what I want to say but I’m scared to say it:

Maybe that thing is too real.
Maybe it’s too embarrassing.
Maybe someone might actually read it, like my mom or my girlfriend.

This, my friends, is how shame feels when I write.

Note well: it isn’t something to run from. It’s something to know about and learn to work with so I can do my work done.

Reality checking messages and expectations that fuel shame

Here’s my least sustainable belief about writing: That every word and every line I write should arrive perfectly formed; Michelangelo’s David, but without any rock to carve away from it.

I know that when I sit down to write, I’m going to write some shit, which as Pat Pattison says, is the best fertilizer but I carry the irrational belief that my writing should be perfect anyway.

My writing routine is more like getting out of bed.

I wake up groggy. I stumble into the kitchen not-so-quietly desperate for prefabricated coffee. My mouth is pasty and my eyes blurry. The day will be fine eventually, but it rarely starts pretty. My Writing is like that and I tell often tell myself that’s “not good enough.” Note again, this isn’t necessarily something to fix, which could just be shaming myself from a different direction. It’s knowledge to act from. My writing process needs some time to warm up, so I’ll keep writing.

Shame resilient people reach out and tell their stories to people they trust.

Here just writing can be a helpful first step. Just writing a thing down can sometimes alleviate much of the shame of it:

“I hate this”
“I have nothing to say”
“I don’t want to do this today”

or any of a million other variants are fine and time honored ways of starting a day’s writing.

Also, it’s vital to have friends, peers and compatriots you can talk about how much writing, (and anything else that comes to mind) sucks. The important thing is, the person you share this information with has to understand too, and not judge you for it. If you don’t have a safe person in your life now, seek one out. The world is filled with Facebook groups and real world support groups which can places to find someone you trust.

4. The shame resilient call shame “shame.”

This simple but can be deceptively hard.

I remember the first time I really started talking about shame. I’d just started listening to and reading Brené, and I had a friend I knew I could trust to hash this stuff out with and I still nearly choked on the words. The good news is it gets easier and easier as you go. It gets less scary.

Epilogue:

There’s a secret about shame, vulnerability and art. It’s something a friend and I tripped over in one of those epic four hour conversations about life and learning that mostly seem to happen when you’re in high school or college.

I was thirty-five at the time.

Almost universally, the songs, the art, even the personality traits that people value most in me (and that I value most in others) are the songs, art, and characteristics I (or they) feel squirrelly about. The things I’m most embarrassed about, the things I feel shame about, my vulnerabilities are almost always tied up in my best work, and consequently the work I most want to hide.

But somehow they slip out of me.

I share a song in a Fearless Songwriting week. I played a song once at an open mike. Then people keep asking me to play it. It wasn’t meant to be a real song. It was just a joke.

I don’t know why creativity seems designed this way but I’ve talked to a lot of songwriters and to a lot of people and they all agree it’s true. This makes doing the work of reckoning with and coming to terms with my shame even more important. Our fears and our shame are inextricably tangled with our best work. Learning shame resilience, means my best work won’t pass me by because I was too ashamed to write down, to share it.